Smithereens
by burnchocolateforfree
Summary: Marian Hawke seems to have issues with her magical powers and with a certain Templar in the Gallows...
1. Chapter 1

The dragon was staring at her, fiercely. She could see its iris, burning yellow like the sun, with little green stripes. It had no lashes, and the lids closing arythmically made a clear sound, like a single heartbeat.  
Its scales were wine red. All those colours seemed to melt into one, as she stood stricken by it. Her senses were tangled; it was like she could _hear_ those colours, and _see_ his breathing and heartbeat.

Marian Hawke woke up. She shook her head, clinging to her sheets. _Just like Anders described me once, _she thought. _The last thing I need is the Taint, now. _She laughed, a cracked, half laugh, that made her feel even worse. She never laughed at the Blight, which was still embedded with fire in her memories. _Bethany. _

She got up and had breakfast, alone in the silence of the mansion. She saw Sandal sleep soundly inside of a drawer, and this time she laughed heartly. The boy was still as cute as always. She didn't usually get up early, but that morning she liked being alone. She felt shivers down her spine, magic running. Alarmed, she tried to lit up a small fire.

She couldn't do it.

She immediately panicked. She ran outside, only to find out it was raining. She stood there, dripping wet, until she calmed down. She liked the rain. It had a rhythm of its own, and nothing could stop it. But even being so, it was gentle. It was all about having power, and not using it.

-Messere! Come in, or you'll get wet!  
She flinched. Bodahn was calling for her. She smiled, seeing him jump to look outside the window.

Days had passed since that episode. She had been able to use her magic normally, but she was not yet easy about the matter. Were it to happen during battle, it would be fatal. She was now out chasing bandits with the gang. They swept them out with no problem whatsoever, and she knelt down to pick up a staff which could be useful, when the shivers began again. _Oh no. Not now. _They were right in front of the Chantry. Templars might be coming any minute, it was not the right time to feel sick. She stood up, still shivering. Varric looked at her with worry. She smiled and and while they went away, she catched a glimpse of a shiny templar armour. She was relieved they were able to escape in time.

One morning, she went with Isabela to the Gallows to buy some weaponry. She was looking at the merchant's good, when from behind her someone picked up a dagger and lifted it up. Marian instinctively jumped back and glared. There stood a templar in armour, smiling.

-Are daggers to your liking, m'lady?

She stared at him, still not at ease. He was, from what she could guess under the heavy armour, a well-built man, around thirty. He had hazel eyes and was blonde. She spoke with a strong Fereldan accent.

-Good morning. I'm Knight-Commander Cullen.

added he, stretching out his harm to shake hands. Marian held his with uncertainty, not knowing what to think.

-Marian Hawke.

-You sure are good at fighting, Marian Hawke.  
Her eyes unconsciously widened, all her senses tingling. _Trouble. _

-I might just happen to be-, replied she.

-And you might just not know that apostates _are dangerous criminals_ to face.

She glared at him for his two-way. How much did he know exactly? Varric and Fenris were on the watch, and observed the templar closely. He sighed.

-I need help. There's a rumor - more than just a rumor, actually - that apostates are hiding in the Wounded Coast. The thing is, they're just frightened kids. At the moment, they're not dangerous, but if I were to go there and hunt them down, they'd most likely use blood magic to defend themselves. And we _don't _want that.

She knew that was true. But still, there was the risk for her magic to be found out... if he didn't knew already.

She looked at him one last time, and nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Marian went to the Wounded Coast. She had been uncertain about taking Anders with her, but decided to bring him anyways, alongside with Isabela and Varric. They ventured between the rocks and the sea, finally discovering the entrance to the rumored cave where the fugitives were hiding. Marian went in first.

The inside was lit with torches, clear sign of people's presence. Something about it was off; no ordinary fugitives would make their presence so clear. Her senses were on the edge, she listened carefully to every little noise. A falling drop. Her companions' steps. The sound of fire.

Then, she heard a voice. It was surprisingly close. Three people were whispering, but not in a serious tone. They sounded more like girls gossiping than dangerous, plotting apostates. She coughed to make her presence known. The whispers stopped.

-Did you hear that?

Said someone. Marian stepped out of the shadows, in front of them. They froze up, scared stiff.

-I'm Marian. Look, I'm an apostate too. I was told to talk to you.

-W-W-Who sent you here?

Marian inhaled deeply.

-Don't panic. You're safe. I... I was sent by Templars.

A girl fell on her knees.

-They... They'll come. And won't go without harm. But you can decide to surrender now. And just return to your normal Circle life. The one you've lived up until now.

-Like hell!- shouted a guy, who was pale as death. - If Meredith catches us... we...

_That's true, _acknowledged Marian. _We don't know what Meredith will do with fleeing apostates around her town. _She felt guilty. In the end, they were just like her. They just had no idea which way to go... Just when she was having such doubts, a fourth figure appeared. Without having even the time to blink, they were attacked. Marian deflected a flash, while Varric shot at the mage's heart.

But he was still standing.

Marian tried to attack him with fire, but he avoided it, and Marian fell on her knees, trembling. She felt a strong nausea, and uncontrollable shivers all over her body. She couldn't move, but could see a steel sword pierce through the mage's heart, and an armour shine in the dark of the cave.

_Templars?_

In that moment, everything calmed down. Anders was on the watch, full of suspicion. She knew all too well his hate for templars. Then, he saw Marian on the floor and, with a look of worry, hurried to her. Cullen - she finally saw who the templar was - approached her. Anders hissed and got up, hiding her from the templar's questioning look.

-What's happening to her? - said Cullen.

-Nothing that concerns you, - snarled Anders. He was overly preoccupied; Marian felt that those shivers might be really bad news.

-As I see it, - replied him calmly, - that's a disease caused by magic. A disease which only mages can suffer from.

Anders glared.

-You're no doctor. Why have you followed us?

-Apostates are not so easy to defeat, as you've just seen. And... It's useless to try hide her from me. I saw her magic. And that's why I asked her for help.

-And so, first you ask her help, then you bring her to the Circle? Ho! Quite the gentleman we got here. - Varric exclaimed.

-I never said anything about the Circle, did I?

-Don't try to play innocent, templar. We all know what you're going to do. - hissed Anders.

Marian's shivers ended, and she slowly got up. Anders, alarmed, grabbed her shoulders. - Sit down, - whispered.

-She needs to be healed, but this is not the right place and you're not _the right healer_. - said Cullen, with a bit of malice. -Let me take care of her.

-Do you think I'm stupid? You'll take her to the blasted _Gallows!_

_-_I'm not so ungrateful to lock her up in a Circle after making her work for me. She'll go to the Circle soon, but not by my hand.

-If it's you or your underlings, I don't give a damn! I won't let you!

Marian stepped in front of the Templar.

-Stop it. You're noisy.

She glared at both.

-Seems like you won't need my help. Take these innocent kids back to the Circle or whatever the hell you want. I'm going out.

-You're still not...! - tried to warn her Anders.

-I'm fine. Farewell, templar.

Cullen stood there, a troubled look on his face, seeing how she trembled while walking.


	3. Chapter 3

Marian was in her mansion, taking care of paperwork, when she heard someone knocking. She hurried at the door - Bodahn was out shopping - and when she opened, she saw the Sword of Mercy stamped on a breastplate. She slammed the door, panicking. Were the templars there to get her? Then, she heard a voice.

-Very polite of you, to shut the door on me, - said someone wryly. Marian blinked. _Cullen? _She opened the door a second time.

Cullen was right in front of her, smiling, the kind of smile that clearly states one is pissed off. That smile sort of scared her, but she ignored it, and let him in.

She was nervous, and was a bit surprised by that. _I'm confident that I can beat him. But... why is it that he makes me so unnerved? _She glanced

at him. He had bags under his eyes. She gawked at him. He seemed to notice that, and smirked.

-What are you doing here? - asked Marian, a bit flustered.

-I was just wondering how you were doing, - replied with in an alluring tone. She glared at him.

-Completely fine, thanks. Now, are you done?

-You in a hurry to see me off?

-Why would I want to be with a templar, even for a second?

-Oh, what a pity. And here I thought I could explain your illness to you, - said, with a meaningful look. Marian wavered for a split second.

-Are you perhaps worried? A tiny little bit? - inched in, raising his brows. She soon found herself cornered. This angered her. She was not a woman so frail to be cornered by the first Templar to come across her way. She pushed him away. He seemed to be having fun, like she was a small animal trying to escape his hands.

-Why won't you attack me? - asked Cullen. She looked at him, puzzled.

-Why do you want me to attack you? So that you would have an excuse to bring me to the prison?

-Oh, _Marian, _- sighed he dramatically, - I don't need an excuse. You are an apostate. Apostates... are no good. They're... way too dangerous. - His gaze suddenly became somber, his eyebags deepening.

-Did something... happen to you?

Her concerned tone struck something inside him. _Why would she care? _ He looked at her. Her blue eyes were gentle, with a hint of pity. She had beautiful eyes; he never realized. But that compassion they showed... Half of him wanted to tell her everything. God only knew how much he needed someone to confide in. But half of him, his pride, refused her. _She looks at me the way she would look at some wounded animal... _He didn't need no compassion. And she was an apostate. An evil being, ready to take advantage of his weaknesses. He lost himself in thought. The nightmare of those days haunted him even now. He woke only after feeling a warm hand on his forehead.

-I'm sorry I asked, - whispered she with semplicity. His eyes widened. _Get a hold on yourself._

-Looks like I'm not wanted, - said he. - I'm going.

-Oh, Knight-Captain!

Both Cullen and Marian turned around. Leandra was standing on the stairs, smiling.

-Long time no see!

-Milady. - He bowed.

-So, you two know each other?! My little Marian, you sure like to acquaint yourself with handsome men.

Marian blushed violently.

-Mom...

-Ahahah! Don't worry, child. Would you fancy something to drink, Knight-Captain?

-Oh, no, he doesn't, - said Marian in a hurry. - He was just about to leave.

Cullen smiled sardonic.

-Farewell, my ladies, - said, while leaving.


	4. Chapter 4

_I'd like to dedicate this chapter to those who, like me, saw E3 live ad were ultra-pumped-up by the trailer and then blown to pieces after hearing of DAI release date. Ahahahah! Let's enjoy the fandom until Inquisition comes out!  
_Knight-Captain Cullen had been called to Meredith's office that morning. He expected a parade or the like to be organized to celebrate the impending day of the death of Andraste, but when he showed up, he found Meredith looking at him surly. He flinched.

-Knight-Commander, - saluted.

-It appears to me you've been... _inefficient._ - replied she, glaring. He became pale.

- I-I don't-

-I've heard rumors about an apostate wandering in High Town. How come no measures were taken?

_An apostate... that can't be Marian?!_ Was he the one who put her in trouble with the expedition on the Wounded Coast?

-The apostate seems to be the member of an ancient noble family. I want you to find him and bring him to me.

_A noble family... Leandra is an Amell... _He began to think frantically about what could he do to hide her. Then he suddenly stopped.

_Why am I trying to save her?_

-You may go, - concluded Meredith. Cullen woke up from his thoughts, bowed and got out of the office.

When night came, he finally took off his armour and lay on his bed. He kept turning sides, in worry. What was it about Marian Hawke that unnerved him so much, he wondered. She was an apostate. She wasn't even hu-

_No, she is. She helped me, without wanting anything back._

_Maybe she did to save her similars. Or maybe to buy my silence. But she couldn't be sure about that. Why did she help me?_

_Should I tell her about Meredith's order?_ That would mean treason. He had to choose between the Order and an apostate. Why wasn't that choice obvious? It _was _indeed, but then why couldn't he fall asleep?

He got up. He couldn't no longer stand sitting on his hands. He wore simple clothes, in a hurry, and left under the rain.

Marian Hawke woke up in the middle of the night. Someone was knocking on the door; Bodahn, still half asleep, a candle in one hand, already had his hand on the handle when Marian stopped him and sent him back to bed. She opened the door, looking at Cullen, wet hair covering his eyes.

-Andraste's mercy! What are you doing under the rain at this time of night! Come in! - she fretted.

He stepped in, dripping on the floor. He took of his mantle and closely followed Marian, who was leading him to a room. When he entered, he realized it was _her_ room. He suddenly started to feel uncomfortable. He gazed at her, and at his surroundings; her scent filled the air, and permeated everything. This smell was most unnerving; it made the blood boil in his veins. _This isn't hatred, _thought he in disbelief. He looked at Marian while she opened all of her drawers. Then, she went near him, wrapping him up in a soft, warm blanket.

-Sorry, this is all I have for the moment.

His eyes widened, while he clinged to the blanket.

-They're looking for you, - spat he out. Marian turned violently, terrified.

-Templars. Meredith ordered me to... take you to the Gallows.

She slowly stepped back, until her hands reached the wall.

-You're locking me away in the Circle, - she whispered.

-No. Marian, I...

She looked like a wild animal caught during the hunt. She try to reach the door, but Cullen caught her by the hand. She struggled, trying to wriggle away.

-Marian!

She calmed down.

-I... I only came here to warn you. I...

-Let go of me.

Her harsh, cold tone struck him like a knife; he stopped, and let go of her arm. Her blue eyes revealed her turmoil; she was terrified. He took off the blanket from his shoulders and covered that small, shivering body of hers with it. She opened her arms and hugged him. He unconsciously replied, his defenses breaking down. He just couldn't think straight, and stood there, looking at her. She wasn't crying; her face was pale, her gaze hollow. Her hands were as cold as ice.

Then, the door opened. Bodahn entered in a hurry, flinched at the sight of the two, and said:  
-Templars. Next door. They captured Guiscard DuPuis!

Cullen ran to him.

-Is he an apostate?!

-Seems so, m'lord.

Both him and Marian hurried to the window, trying to take a look at the street. About a dozen templars, guided by the one Cullen guessed to be Emeric, were trailing out a nobleman from his house. They even saw the templars fighting off wraiths and demons. Cullen sighed.

-Looks like you're safe... for the time being. They captured him instead of you, - he reassured her.

-So, that was all a bunch of lies.

Cullen froze.

-Never show your face to me again, templar.

For the second time, he found himself leaving that house, with more questions than before.


End file.
